Ohhhh Baby!

I find it odd that humans have adopted the word “Baby” into their language of love. Last week Mel had an article titled, “Baby, I lied.” Syd was trying to take a photo of K’s face and got the finger instead, Syd’s comment was “Come on Baby…just turn around for one picture.”

Baby is something I’ve never cooed to anyone. What exactly is the baby likeness of an adult human? I could understand if the one you call “baby” has really soft skin, cries at least 20 times a day and shits their pants, but adults have pubic hair, scars, gum disease and language skills. They aren’t babies.

I know a group of women who are known as “The Babes,” which still gives me the chills when I call one of them “a babe.” But they insist, and I comply. Their estrogen influences me in ways I can’t even begin to understand.

I know it’s all acceptable endearment language, but couldn’t the phrase and word coiners come up with something better? Something a little less...how shall I say it...a little less disgusting.